by Pushpa rani Piner
Ottawa, Canada

This story is transcribed from audio interviews, which are also available to listen to below.

I started about twenty years ago. I was 24, and it was really the farthest thing from my mind, meditation and the spiritual life. I was very much involved in the outer life, going to university, I was working as a model, and I was very much involved – as much as you can be involved – in the outer world. I thought this would bring me a lot of happiness, but inside I was really feeling just so much longing for something, and I wasn’t finding it, not matter what I did in my outer life.

So one day I was downtown in Toronto, just walking down the street, and I saw this poster. It said ‘Meditation’ and I just wrote it down and I decided to go to the class. I was not looking at all, it just looked like something that would be interesting. I remember the day very clearly, because I got up in the morning, I was getting ready, and I felt some kind of inner joy in the morning, before I went to the class. Then I was walking to the class and I almost felt as if I was floating, I just was having this kind of experience which I had never had before. So I got to the class and I was sitting at the very back and as soon as the speaker started talking, I felt just so absorbed in what he was saying. I was writing every single thing down, and at the break I ended up moving to the front of the class and I happened to meet someone else I knew there. The class finished, I walked home, and I just remember, I had never had that experience before, and I didn’t know what it was, I just knew I had never felt so light and so happy compared to how I had ever felt in my life before. So of course I continued with the classes, and I have continued ever since, I have really gained so much from being part of the Centre.

Having a teacher

I think that everything that I had wanted to be, in a certain way, having a teacher has manifested that in a way that I couldn’t even expect or imagine would happen. On my own it was so difficult to get things going, to move forward without blocks everywhere. But somehow having a teacher, it inwardly guides you to the things that you truly know that you want, but sometimes they manifest in a way that you may not have expected or that you would not have been able to do on your own.

When I first saw Sri Chinmoy was also in Toronto, we were headed to the airport and I had no idea what to expect. There were all these people there, so many people waiting for Sri Chinmoy. He arrived, and for myself it felt almost like this giant is walking; I had just never had that experience before. He just walked by, and he just looked at me just for a second, and I felt so much joy in my heart. Just for a second he looked; no smile or anything, just a look, and he left.

The second time I saw him was at Annapurna restaurant in Toronto, and we were doing a walk-by meditation - a meditation where you are walking by the teacher. So I walked by Sri Chinmoy, and I felt as if someone had unlocked my heart. I had never felt my heart before that, I had never ever felt it. So, I will never forget that experience, it was probably the most meaningful experience of my life.

I guess the most amazing discovery for me since Sri Chinmoy passed on, is that when you have a teacher of his calibre, that the relationship really does go beyond the physical, that you can have a lot of guidance, and that the teacher can really continue to mould you, if you are connected with him. All it takes is that effort to connect with your teacher, to meditate every day. It really is an eternal relationship.

My parents and Sri Chinmoy

Id like to share one experience that is quite meaningful to me, that I had while Sri Chinmoy was on earth. That was with my mother. I’d like to share it because it really shows how when you change, and when you spiritually change, the people around you can also change and are also affected, because we are so interconnected and we really affect each other. So when I first came to meditation, my mom was really afraid, she was really scared, because it is not something that is really part of our culture, meditation and having an Indian teacher, so she was quite scared about what I was getting into. She really did not approve of it. So, as the years went on, she started to come around a little bit, and change a little bit. She told me one day ‘I cannot argue with Sri Chinmoy any more. You are just as happy as when you were a little child.’ She really had absolutely turned around, and she was showing Sri Chinmoy’s books to her friends, because she saw so many changes in me.

When she passed away, it was not under the best circumstances, it was quite a difficult situation. So I was really worried about what would happen to her, and so I sent a message to Sri Chinmoy, and I told him what happened. He sent me this beautiful message back, and he said ‘I bless your mother’s soul profusely, and I bless your father’s heart as well.’. So when I got that message, I felt so much more security and happiness about it. And then that night, I had a dream of my mom, and she was looking so beautiful, so healthy and happy, she was wearing a white sari, and she was outside our car, and the car door was open, and she had all her luggage. An I was there, I was crying and I said ‘But I want to go with you, I want to go too’.  And she said ‘Don’t worry, you can also come’, and so then we got together in the car, and we just drove off. And when I woke up in the morning, I felt such an inner joy, and I really feel that that dream was a significant sign to me that Sri Chinmoy really had done something inwardly for her, and the dream was a way of showing me that. I’m just so happy that my mom also got to know Sri Chinmoy, and got to change in that way. My father as well. To me it is amazing - when you change yourself, you see that everything around you does change.

by Namrata Moses, New York

I began seeking the spiritual life very young. My family was very spiritual. We were from North Carolina. My grandparents were both ministers, and I was at church every weekend. I worked on our family farm during the week.

At age six, I was in a favorite part of the woods, when I saw a white figure up in the sky. It felt like the Christ to me. I was mesmerized for days!

One time, I had an inner experience when reading Don Quixote. I don't know where I was but I felt this quietness come over me, from the top of my head right down through my body. It was like a desert where everything was so peaceful, the kind of peace I never felt before in my life. It was a good experience, but I became afraid because I didn't have any control over it and I didn't know how to get out of it, so I prayed to God to save me. I don't know how long it took for me to come back to normal.

Later, I moved to Manhattan, New York City. I worked at Long Island College Hospital. I eventually caught up with my education in New York, with a work scholarship for my Bachelor’s degree, majoring in history and education from Lehman College in the Bronx.

I first saw Sri Chinmoy’s picture during the mid-70s when I was attending a meditation at the house of a former student of his, who was now teaching another kind of meditation. I remember seeing the picture, of Sri Chinmoy in a red dhoti on the wall - during the meditation, the picture would disappear into the wall. I felt that that picture kept saying ‘no’ to me, that this meditation was bad for me and I should not continue with it.

I was not satisfied with that meditation, so I left. However, as a result of attending that meditation, I started becoming disturbed by paranormal problems such as seeing lions and leopards while driving, which made me afraid to drive. I didn’t know what to do, to better control what I was seeing. I could also see what was going to happen the day before. I didn’t like it one bit! I wanted someone to show me how to control these problems.

Becoming a disciple of Sri Chinmoy

One day, a friend and I attended a meditation with Sri Chinmoy at All Angel’s Church in Manhattan. It was a strange experience, meditating with Sri Chinmoy in person. He said wordlessly to me, “Come.” I said, “No.” I finally told him inwardly that if he got rid of my problems, I’d be his disciple (or student) for the rest of my life. He meditated with me.

After this meditation, everyone in the group was willing to try meditating with Sri Chinmoy— except me. However, Sri Chinmoy later appeared to me in a dream, removing all my problems. I promised him then I’d be his disciple. Forever.

We had Centre meetings on Friday nights; attendance was compulsory. Sri Chinmoy - who I now call ‘Guru’ - talked to us lovingly like we were his children; which we are, his spiritual children. It was so great. Most of all, he emphasized we were not to pay attention to what others said about meditating on the Path, to only be guided by our own aspiration, not swayed by other people’s likes or dislikes.

When I first started meditating, my thoughts were jumping all over the place. I offered these interruptions to Sri Chinmoy in my meditations. After I consciously offered up these interrupting thoughts, I was able to continue meditating more easily and peacefully.

During my first years as Sri Chinmoy’s disciple, I had very little money. Sometimes I was wondering where I would get money for the basic things I needed. One day I was at a meditation meeting with Guru, and he was asking what kind of work we did. I told him that I wasn't working, and he said that I should go to the United Nations to get a job. I did not get a job at the U.N, but I did get a job working in the hotel next to the UN because I had worked in math in school.

Guru kept working these kinds of miracles in my life. For example, after getting my Bachelor’s, Guru suggested I get my Master’s. So I did, specialising in early education. While I’d struggled with my first degree, I got all A’s for my second degree from City College of New York in Manhattan. Not bragging, just saying. Little did I know I’d teach 20 years at ABSW in Harlem, and five years as director of Albany Day Care Center.

I had five children, and here Guru really saved my life. My children were very demanding and I did not know what to do with them. It was a frustrating time for me; I could not concentrate or think straight. My oldest son was Guru’s worst critic; he used to criticise Guru all the time. But Guru changed him; he had a dream where Guru warned him that he had to stop what he was doing. At that time my son had no job, but Guru told him that he was a good boy and that he would never be without a job. Now, he has had a good job with the government for many years, and he always helps me financially to come to our annual Christmas Trip. Similarly, Guru has helped my other children and changed their lives for good.

The only other time I had no control over my life was when I became sick with a nervous breakdown for two weeks. I was in the hospital not knowing who I was or anyone around me. I could see Guru watching over me in a subtle physical form right in the hospital room, and when I was able to talk I was trying to show the visitors and nurses, but they could not see him. According to the doctors, my sickness was because of a bad marriage and me not being able to cope with it.

Another thing I would like to thank Guru for is teaching me how to love myself. According to Guru, when you learn to love God, you are truly able to love yourself and others. My father had passed away and I really did not like the way he had treated me. I informed Guru about his passing and went to the meditation function with Sri Chinmoy that evening, which was held in the local high school. As I passed by Guru, I felt him scolding me inwardly, saying that I had to forgive my father. Of course, I was shocked, but I began to work on it and I realised that forgiving my father was like having an elephant lifted off my back.

Sports

Previously, I’d no sports background other than hitting a baseball, because my father played baseball on weekends. Guru once asked who would like to enter a 24-hour bicycle race. My question was, where would I get a bike? Well, someone got me a bike. I rode all night with Guru in Central Park—and our Sri Chinmoy cycling team won it! I don’t know how many miles I biked. But I enjoyed it, because I had no more problems appearing before me, absolutely none. Guru had taken away all my problems.

Thereafter, we moved from riding bikes to our Centre Sports Day. I entered the 100- and 200- meter races, also threw shotput and javelin. I was a champion for a while in my age category, winning 10 Master’s medals. One time, Guru asked us all who could run the New York City Marathon. I volunteered, and I completed it, even though I had not done any training. That first marathon turned out to be my fastest time. I went on to do the 12-hour walk four times, two NYC marathons and six Sri Chinmoy Marathons.

Africa

In 1987, the global Sri Chinmoy Oneness-Home Peace Run began. I went to Africa twice that year, the first time with Peace Run. There were two boy students and another French girl on this first Africa trip. We went to eight countries, including Ghana, Liberia and Senegal. In West Africa, I felt that I had been there before in a previous incarnation, as a nun. I really did. Upon returning, Sri Chinmoy blessed me with my spiritual name. Namrata means “humility.”

I was asked to return, to give meditation classes. I asked Guru how to raise funds for my second Africa trip. He suggested a yard sale, which raised $2,000 in two weeks thanks to donations from disciples. I asked our Centre leader Sunil how to represent Guru; he told me not to worry, Guru would speak in and through me. I don’t remember what I said at those classes. I felt that it was Guru talking, not me. In Sierra Leone, 127 people signed up to continue meditating with us. This is another example of Sri Chinmoy calls surrender to the Highest, not doubting or fearing about what will happen in the future. Just do it!

I’m in my early eighties, as I tell my story in 2019. I continue sharing Guru’s spiritual philosophy in different ways. I love counting at our various races, such as the annual Sri Chinmoy Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race, the world’s longest certified footrace. At my senior’s book club, we read and discuss his books like The Jewels of Happiness. Through over four decades of meditating with Sri Chinmoy, I would not want to change even one day!

Scritto da un suo caro amico

Molti di noi, ad un certo punto della vita, si aspettano che ci sia un "viaggio". Può essere qualcosa di semplice come andare in terre lontane, o qualcosa di più difficile come un viaggio interiore. In quest'ultimo caso, non esistono dei mezzi di trasporto semplici e veloci... i paesaggi che si attraversano sono quelli puri della propria coscienza... ci si trova di fronte a strade che sembrano facili, e di fronte ad altre che attraversano "lo sconosciuto" puro e semplice.Il viaggio intrapreso da Snatak è insieme profondo ed unico. È un viaggio che ha visto la sua meta passare da "improbabile" a ciò che possiamo definire "quasi impossibile". E ancora, per i cercatori spirituali, e per quelli che hanno la fortuna di un vero Maestro spirituale come nel caso di Snatak, "impossibilità" è solo una parola da superare, durante il veloce progresso in avanti della loro avventura, che è la vita stessa.

Snatak è islandese. In queste ultime due settimane è stato in Columbia insieme ad un gruppo di amici connazionali: stanno offrendo corsi di meditazione in varie parti del Paese. Per molti anni ha viaggiato spesso. Migliaia di studenti di Sri Chinmoy ogni anno viaggiano in tutto il mondo, condividendo con tutti (attraverso corsi di meditazione o altre attività, o semplicemente attraverso un sorriso o una stretta di mano) l'insegnamento e la Luce del loro Maestro.

Snatak: "A 13 anni ero attratto dai libri sullo yoga [inteso come ricerca spirituale] e di domande e risposte spirituali. Trovavo questo argomento affascinante. Sentivo che questa fosse la cosa giusta. Ricordo di aver letto il libro di Patanjali: sentii che la ricerca spirituale fosse la cosa davvero importante... Solamente che non sapevo come praticarla, e sentivo di dover trovare il modo di imparare".

A 14 anni, nel 1975, avvenne uno dei momenti di più dolorosa ironia della sua vita. Sri Chinmoy era in viaggio in Islanda per la seconda volta ed offrì una conferenza nella cittadina di Akureyri, 17.000 abitanti, proprio la città in cui viveva Snatak. Un giorno, sua madre che era al lavoro, udì da alcuni amici della conferenza offerta da uno yoghi indiano in una piccola sala della città. Il giorno seguente descrisse l'esperienza a suo figlio: "Quando lui [Sri Chinmoy] entrò in sala, era come camminare dentro un muro. C'era così tanta Forza! Quest'uomo non potrà vivere a lungo, perché sta usando tutta la sua energia! Era come trovarsi in un muro di Potere!"

Snatak ci racconta che era dispiaciuto di non aver potuto essere alla conferenza. Sua madre vi era andata semplicemente, e all'epoca non c'erano i cellulari... Ci racconta con un dolce sorriso: "C'era un vero yoghi in città ed io l'ho mancato!" La madre comunque alla conferenza comprò un libro di Sri Chinmoy per Snatak
[...]

Quel libro fu in pratica una guida interiore per il viaggio che un giorno Snatak avrebbe intrapreso. Ma per adesso non c'era una strada definita davanti a lui, non gli era chiaro come seguire questo insegnante sul suo sentiero.
[...]

Dopo circa 9 anni ritroviamo Snatak in Inghilterra per studiare musica. Lì, ci racconta, passò un brutto periodo. Era infelice, dopo un altro anno era depresso: aveva cercato una Via spirituale per nove anni, senza successo. A quel punto "ogni sera prima di andare a letto ho pregato e pregato intensissimamente, per mesi, perché potessi trovare un Maestro spirituale". Ed infine vide un manifesto nella sua scuola di Manchester in cui si pubblicizzava un corso di meditazione, ancora una volta degli studenti di Sri Chinmoy. "Eccolo finalmente!" Il corso era offerto da Bhavani, che veniva appositamente da Londra.

Alla fine del corso, Snatak chiese a Bhavani di poterle affidare una lettera per Sri Chinmoy. Ci descrive il grande sollievo nel sapere che finalmente avrebbe potuto scrivere a Sri Chinmoy sapendo per certo che lui l'avrebbe ricevuta. [...] Un certo tempo dopo, rivecette una lettera da Bhavani che diceva che era stato accettato come discepolo. Era l'aprile 1985. Questa notizia gli portò enorme gioia e speranza. "Uauuuuuuu! Certo, i miei problemi non erano tutti risolti, ma sentii concretamente che qualcosa di molto significativo era accaduto. Qualcosa era accaduto!"

Snatak ci racconta che quando seppe di essere stato accettato sul Sentiero di Sri Chinmoy, voleva prendere il primo volo per New York per vederlo. Comunque gli fu possibile andarci per le Celebrazioni [speciale incontro annuale di tutti i discepoli di Sri Chinmoy -n.d.r.] il successivo agosto. Ci racconta: "Fu un viaggio eccezionale. Non sarei mai voluto tornare. In certi momenti, sapevo semplicemente di aver fatto la cosa giusta". Ci descrive momenti di potente e profonda meditazione. Stava facendo l'esperienza della vera vita spirituale, di cui aveva letto per così tanti anni. "Non ricordo dove la mia meditazione mi condusse... Ero in lacrime... Non potevo credere quanto fosse bello... Non avrei mai voluto andarmene".
[...]

[Tempo dopo] il concerto [di Sri Chinmoy] fu anche stavolta un grande successo. Dopo il concerto, Sri Chinmoy era in partenza in aeroporto; camminò direttamente verso Snatak e gli stette di fronte. Gli disse parole incoraggianti, e gliele ripeté molte volte, con grandissimi amore ed affetto. Lui iniziò a piangere, ed in quel momento sentì la connessione dolce e profonda che esisteva tra lui e Sri Chinmoy. Fu uno dei momento più belli della sua vita. [...].

Pagina originale. Si ringrazia l'amico Snatak!